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[00:00] Guys, we got a huge problem back there. Big rat, like the biggest ever in the back office. Ah, that sounds like Charlie work. So Charlie, why don't you hop on that and be smart about it? Good pleasantry, Q. What's Charlie work? Fill me in.
[00:10] Okay, well Charlie work is like, you know, like basement stuff, cleaning urinals, blood stuff, your basic slimes, your sludges, anything dead or decaying, you know, I'm on it, I'm dealing with it.
[00:21] Can't believe you guys are making me do this. Can't believe you left a dead guy in the bar overnight, dude. So I guess we're even. Charlie, the EMT said he had a heart attack, not Ebola.
[00:29] Do you want to do this?
[00:31] No.
[00:32] Then don't question my methods. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! What's wrong with the toilet? Looks clogged.
[00:37] What the hell? I just had these on like perfect working condition! Must be my shoes. Your shoes? What are you talking about? Well, when I said I lost my shoes, that didn't mean I didn't know where they were.
[00:45] It's just that they were gone.
[00:47] You flushed your shoes down the toilet? Why would you do that? It's an anxiety thing, Charlie. What do I do with the trash? How do I dispose of the trash? I don't know. We disposed of the trash in the dumpster last night. What are you doing with it? I am taking it to the furnace. We have a furnace? Absolutely. Where do you think the heat comes from? You burn the trash in the furnace? This bar runs on trash, dude. This bar is totally green that way. How is burning trash green? Uh, because I'm recycling the trash into heat for the bar and lots of smoke for the bar and giving the bar the good smoky smell that we all like. What happened to the glory hole cover?
[01:17] I thought you put it on there by accident. No, I put it up there because I don't want the health inspector seeing that we have a place for a person to get their dick sucked by a stranger. Okay, uh, I just killed three very large rats that were stuck in glue traps. Good work. No, no, no, that's not goo- I am done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar. That's why we call it Charlie work.
[01:34] No, no, dude, not Charlie work. There's like an emotional toll that comes out of this. I mean, you kill one of those... - You kidding me? - Is it broken? It won't shut the hell up. No, it's doing exactly what it's supposed to do and that's the problem. There's like a ton of carbon monoxide down here, so I don't want it doing that. What? Why? Well, I actually-- What I do is I block the vents to the furnace, and that fills the basement with dangerous gases, drives the rodents away. I always do it leading up to an inspection.
[01:56] Is that safe? No, no, it's incredibly unsafe. It can't be down here too long. So get the battery. We gotta roll Please get me out of this bathroom before I vomit. It is absolutely disgusting
[02:07] Excuse me, Mr. Man. But I happen to think this bathroom is pristine, because I worked very hard cleaning it.
[02:14] In fact, it's so clean, I would say you could eat out of these urinals. No, you absolutely cannot eat out of these urinals. Oh, really? What's this? Charlie, don't. Oh, my God. And you dislike it.
[02:24] Well, no, I mean, at its core, I love it, you know? I love the dark, I love slippery things, I love being naked. Uh, in the sewer, bleach smells good, it tastes good, you know? But it's just like, I don't like...
[02:38] I'm sorry, I didn't get that last time. I don't like being told what to do. Everyone's always telling me what to do all the time. Got it. Hold still, Charlie. You're flickering. Sorry. Trying to get your good image. Just keep getting shocked a little bit.
[02:49] Don't let that affect your work. - No, I'm really trying not to. It's just that, you know,
[02:53] I had to run the wires from the other building. The building in the, you know,
[02:58] There's asbestos in the ducks, which wasn't good for--
[03:02] Good for breathing, so I'm tired. Who gives a shit? We always get a passing grade. Yeah, we get a passing grade because I bust my ass to make sure that happens, okay? And we don't pretend that we're a restaurant! - Hey, buddy. - Yeah, what's going on there, pal? Oh my God, I just found a rat's nest.
[03:17] slaughtered about
[03:19] 200 of them? 200 could be. Jesus Christ.
[03:24] It's like...
[03:26] It's like whole generations of those things have died at my...
[03:30] Hands and...
[03:32] Mothers, fathers.
[03:33] Grandfathers, little baby rats.
[03:35] *sniff*
[03:35] - Mm, yeah. - Wow.
[03:37] Well...
[03:38] You know, keep up the good work. - Yeah. - Hey, we're cleaning the toilet. - What? Cleaning toilet? No, that's what Charlie does.
[03:44] I'm not doing Charlie work anymore.
[03:46] Fire him through the dishes!
[03:48] You're just gonna make me do them anyway! Looks like we got a blown fuse in here. Better get on that. Blown fuses count as Charlie work.
[03:55] Suppose I ought to...
[03:57] Good.
[03:58] Back to it? Yep. Jump right back in there, tiger. Get on the horse, Charlie. Bash him up. Do what you do best.
[04:05] - All right. - Nope. - You wanna come play my avatar for me for a little bit while I run some errands? I don't want my crops to die.
[04:11] - No, I'm kind of busy working for the guys, D. I'd like-- - Shit! - Yes, he's working for us. You will do nothing of the sort. - What if I give you three bucks?
[04:18] You're our employee, you do what we say.
[04:20] I pay your rent. Do not drop those wires. Hey, Charlie, to live is to dance. Let's go. Charlie, what if I gave you five bucks? You owe me five bucks! Ah! Ah, shit! Screw it!
[04:31] Son of a bitch!
[04:32] Shit! God, what a life, huh? Today's his birthday. Are you kidding me? Poor guy on a day like this. We ought to do something nice for him. Definitely. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, you want to get him a new rat stick? That's a good idea.
[04:45] Bye.